The Secret to Calm, Stress-free Weekday Mornings!!

    Okay, I know a lot of you are going to argue that this only works for me because I am a stay at home mom and don't have to get myself ready for work in the morning.  You're right, that does eliminate a lot of stress, but I believe this concept can be adapted to any lifestyle and schedule. 

    I wanted to make a drastic change in the way my family interacted with each other, especially in the morning. 
 My goal was to help my family to start their days in a much quieter, more calm way than we have in the past.  We usually have a mad dash to the car or bus filled with hollering and yelling, sometimes crying.  My theory was that if I were more calm and organized and created a calm time to sit and enjoy a meal together before they all went their seperate ways, we might all start our days feeling more like a family unit and having a sense of peace and even happiness as we started our day.  I figured the beginning of the school year was the perfect time to turn over a new leaf. I decided this was also a good chance to test the old adage of being the change you want to see.

This was how I planned to accomplish my goal:

I decided I would get up in the morning before everyone and make breakfast for my family, every day of the work week.  This isn't always easy, as I have some chronic health issues that make it almost impossible for me to get more than 2 hours of sleep at night!  But my plan was to give more on the front end and see if it made an impact on the back end in the form of better behavior and a more peaceful household. 
So...every day I get up about 1/2 hour before the rest of the family and get something cooking.  Some days it's just oatmeal and sausage, and other days I go all out and make French Toast, hash browns, and bacon.  But I try my best everyday to "make" something for them to eat and for them to eat it together.

Well, it worked! 

We have been using this new routine for the past 4 months and it has done wonders for my kids' attitudes and the way they interact with each other and with me.  The really amazing part is that it seems to carry over to after school, too!  The kids are far less likely to argue with each other in the morning, my husband is happier and is less likely to be running late for work.  The part that has REALLY blown me away is that the kids are much more affectionate toward each other in the morning.  They offer to help each other in getting ready and rarely need to be reminded to hug and kiss me when they say goodbye. 

I was and still am floored by how well this experiment has worked!

I enjoy cooking for my family and always have.  It's my way of hugging them on the inside, to paraphrase good ol' Mr.Wilford Brimley.  I truly believe this is working for us because this simple act of service leaves everyone feeling loved and important.  So even if you can't find a way to serve a family style meal every morning, find another way to show them that they are special and loved and see if it changes everything for your family like it did for mine.

I'd love to hear from you if you try an experiment like this!

;)  Theresa

Can Facebook make you a better parent? How to use technology to be a better mommy!

So... Yesterday my two oldest kids were with their father for a few hours after school. I took advantage of being "down" two kids and took the remaining two to the grocery store. About an hour after school was out and halfway through the store, I got a call from my daughter (G) on her fathers' girlfriends' (M) cell phone. She wanted to know if it was all right if she watched the movie "17 Again" with Zak Effron. The movie is rated PG-13 and she is nine. I would have thought that would have been enough information for a "no", but it is not at their house so I had to do some checking. M told G she didn't think it would be a problem since it just had some kissing and swearing in it. Now, don't get me wrong, I adore M and consider her a friend, but we have very different parenting styles so I knew we probably were not going to see eye to eye on this issue. I told G she had to give me a minute to do some research and I would get back with her.


I immediately sent a text message to a friend of mine that has a daughter the same age as G. I asked her if she had let her daughter watch the movie when it came out. Unfortunately, she hadn't even heard of the movie, so I was out of luck on that end, but it had only taken me about 2 minutes to find out. Next step: the internet! I pulled up Google on my Blackberry, and typed in Dove Family Film Reviews. Jackpot!!

I quickly typed in "17 Again" and this is what I saw:     NOT DOVE FAMILY- APPROVED

http://www.dove.org/reviewpopup.asp?Unique_ID=7834 .

Well, I'm not some puppet for any foundation, and I have disagreed with them on some flicks (Harry Potter, for one), so I read why they had not approved it.

"Couples kiss including young couple; teen boy puts pressure on girl to sleep with him; talk about sex and protection in high school class; a high school basketball star gets girlfriend pregnant and then marries her; a comment about a four hour erection; implied sex outside of marriage between a couple who are seen waking up together."

That was enough for me! She's only nine, for Pete’s sake! So in about 5 minutes, I was able to determine if this movie was appropriate for my daughter all from the parking lot of the grocery store! Isn't technology great??!!

All that was left was to call my daughter back and tell her the "bad" news. She took it very well, and I must admit that I believe it was because M does a good job of backing me up and letting the kids know she respects my decisions.


So all of this got me thinking..."How else do I use technology to be a better parent?"

I use text messaging to keep in touch with my kids when they are with their father or are home alone. I use the internet to research recipes to find healthy, new ways to cook the same old staples I buy every month. I use The Dove Foundation site a lot these days. When money was not as tight, I would preview the movies myself. However, these days, I can't afford to watch the movie to decide if it's ok for them and then take the kids, too!

Facebook helps me keep in touch with other parents to stay on top of what "new" things are going around that our kids might be into and helps keep me in the "know" about what's hip and what's not. Lastly, I'm very strict about my kids’ use of the internet so they are only allowed to get on when we are supervising. That's the best way that technology helps make me a better mom, when we are "surfing" together...laughing, talking, and showing each other what we've found...it's great fun and brings us closer. :)

The First Day of Daycare

I have been dreading this day since I first felt the tiny little being fluttering inside. I have done all my homework, dotted i's and crossed t's, but I still can't stop feeling like I want to grab my little one and run....maybe even for Mexico!

My brain knows my baby will be safe and well cared for, but my heart cannot imagine that she will be happy with anyone but me.   Why is this so hard?  I've done this before.

Two times.

Each time I put off sending my child to daycare by staying home as long as we financially could so we could all benefit from my being a stay at home mom. It was the right decision for us, but it's not for everyone.

Each one of my kids has been in childcare at some point in thier lives and each one of them had a "First Day".   I remember my sons' first day of daycare.  He was almost 2 years old and I enrolled him in a part-time preschool program, just to be able to play with other kids his age.  I actually sat in the parking lot for 3 hours just waiting for his time to be up so I could take him home again!  I wasn't worried about his welfare, I trusted the provider and was very happy with the curriculm.  I just didn't have anything else to do while he was there!!  You can tell he was my first, can't you?? 
    With my oldest daughter it was a little different.  Her first day of "daycare" was actually in our home.  I was running my own daycare and was licensed for 12 children and had 3 assistants that worked for me.  I left her in their care when I was working my other job.  That time was understandably not difficult, either.  So why then, am I having so much trouble putting my youngest in daycare?
   My baby girl is turning 2 in a couple of months and my husband wants me to go back to work.  I am not ready to put her in daycare full time!  Maybe it's because she is so very little for her age.  She seems so helpless to me, but I know she's not!  She bosses her brothers and sister around like nobody's business!! 
Maybe it's because I know she is my last and I don't want to let go...it makes me so proud and sad at the same time to think of how much she has grown and changed in the past 21 months.  My baby isn't a baby anymore!    Maybe it's just because I know how hard it is to find good quality providers and I am not up to the task of searching for a provider for her.  I search for other people all the time, and I know how much work it is...I just prefer not to have to do it for myself!  :)
    When it comes right down to it,  I don't want her to be with anyone else.  Right now, I adore her and she adores me.  I know all too well that in a few years, that won't be the case and we may not be able to stand each other some days!  I am finding out everyday how rough the pre-teen and teen years are and I look at my older children and wonder where those sweet, adoring children went.  Well I still have this one and I want to treasure this time and make the most of every minute.  She very likely will be my last "baby" and I have been blessed enough to be able to be home with her and I'm not rushing her (or me) out of this blessing. 
    Funny to hear the Childcare Queen talking about being a stay at home mom, huh?  That's what our kids will do to us.  We will transform ourselves into entirely different beings just to be closer to them, to make them happy, to hear them giggle.  I am addicted to the sound of her laugh and the sound of her sleeping.  She is soflty snoring next to me right now as I type this.  I wouldn't trade that sound for anything in the world!    Her first day is gonna have to wait awhile...

Walk a mile in their shoes...Seeing things through your providers’ eyes. Part 1

Childcare providers are professionals, not babysitters. As professionals, there are certain items that childcare providers want their customers to be aware of. I have put together a list of a few things we all need to know about the unbelievably challenging and incredibly rewarding childcare profession.


This is a business.
Childcare is a business and providers are professionals; please do not refer to them as babysitters. It is demeaning and even insulting. It is expected that professional care providers would have specific hours, rates, systems, and rules to help them maintain the levels of care and service that set them apart from babysitters. As parents, we should appreciate the time and effort that goes into creating handbooks, contracts and curriculum that further promote this professionalism and help set a higher standard for the quality of care.


Professional providers have the right to be paid for not only the care they provide, but their time, too.
Reasonable late fees are to be expected and should be enforced when and if parents abuse the drop off and/or pick up policies of their provider. It is also reasonable for providers to charge if a child does not attend on a day they were scheduled to attend. If the provider is holding a spot for your child, they have a right to be paid whether you choose to use the care or not. If they were not holding the spot for your child, another child would be there in their place and would be paying for that spot. Providers should also bill in advance and make no exceptions because some families tend to take advantage of childcare providers and, because of the very nurturing and caring nature of childcare providers, they tend to fall prey to sob stories. Strict adherence to these policies ensures your provider will be able to afford to continue to provide high quality care to your child. I want to urge parents to remember when you find yourself upset about the fees and costs associated with childcare that you would not work for free, would you?


You Really Do Get What You Pay For.
I often wonder why parents will spend more time and money checking out a used car they are considering buying than they do when choosing a childcare provider. Those same parents are often the same ones that complain about the cost of childcare, only to spend good dollar after bad on other, dare I say, less important items like housing, travel and luxuries like gym fees and beauty treatments. I know there are parents out there that truly can barely afford quality childcare on their salaries and wages. Those families have far more difficult decisions to make than whether or not to pass on the gym membership. I don’t pretend to have a solution for this national conundrum, but I do know that no parent should EVER choose a childcare provider based on price alone! I cannot stress this enough. There are too many unqualified people masquerading as professional providers that are only caring for children because they don’t want to flip burgers. There are many community and government programs available to help bridge the gap between struggling families ability to pay and quality providers’ compensation for quality of care given.


Good Fences Make Good Neighbors: Boundaries are good.
Professional care providers should give families a handbook that outlines the rules and guidelines for their business. Parents have the responsibility to be very clear about what is expected of them and what the provider will and will not be doing with your child. Discipline, transportation, food, and hygiene are all issues that parents should make sure they are in agreement with the providers’ philosophies. If not, you should find another care provider immediately.


Just remember that professional care providers take their jobs very seriously and we all benefit when our children receive high quality care. Part 2 coming soon...

Childcare Queen? Prove it!

Why do I call myself the Childcare Queen, you ask? Let me tell you ALL about it. I have been caring for children for most of my life and for ALL of my adult life.
I started as most young girls do, babysitting for neighbor kids and children at my church.
Before I entered college, I spent a summer working as a live-in nanny in Connecticut. What an interesting experience! But that's for a whole other posting...HINT: Ever read The Nanny Diaries? ;)
After I survived that summer, I realized that I truly had a gift for caring for children and decided that when I entered college, I would study Child Development with a goal to teach or counsel children. Along this long and winding road, I have been a live-in and live-out nanny for a combined 7 years for 4 different families. I have worked in daycare centers, taught pre-school, have run my own in-home daycare and have served on the board of a non-profit daycare center. In addition to all of this, I have 4 children who have all either been in some sort of childcare or currently are. I have seen childcare from EVERY possible view. It is for all of these reasons that I have dubbed myself, THE Childcare Queen!

I am excited to launch this blog because I can't wait to share my experiences with you and teach you what I have learned over the years. I truly believe parents all over can benefit from what I know and what I have experienced.
I look forward to sharing it all with you.