Can Facebook make you a better parent? How to use technology to be a better mommy!

So... Yesterday my two oldest kids were with their father for a few hours after school. I took advantage of being "down" two kids and took the remaining two to the grocery store. About an hour after school was out and halfway through the store, I got a call from my daughter (G) on her fathers' girlfriends' (M) cell phone. She wanted to know if it was all right if she watched the movie "17 Again" with Zak Effron. The movie is rated PG-13 and she is nine. I would have thought that would have been enough information for a "no", but it is not at their house so I had to do some checking. M told G she didn't think it would be a problem since it just had some kissing and swearing in it. Now, don't get me wrong, I adore M and consider her a friend, but we have very different parenting styles so I knew we probably were not going to see eye to eye on this issue. I told G she had to give me a minute to do some research and I would get back with her.


I immediately sent a text message to a friend of mine that has a daughter the same age as G. I asked her if she had let her daughter watch the movie when it came out. Unfortunately, she hadn't even heard of the movie, so I was out of luck on that end, but it had only taken me about 2 minutes to find out. Next step: the internet! I pulled up Google on my Blackberry, and typed in Dove Family Film Reviews. Jackpot!!

I quickly typed in "17 Again" and this is what I saw:     NOT DOVE FAMILY- APPROVED

http://www.dove.org/reviewpopup.asp?Unique_ID=7834 .

Well, I'm not some puppet for any foundation, and I have disagreed with them on some flicks (Harry Potter, for one), so I read why they had not approved it.

"Couples kiss including young couple; teen boy puts pressure on girl to sleep with him; talk about sex and protection in high school class; a high school basketball star gets girlfriend pregnant and then marries her; a comment about a four hour erection; implied sex outside of marriage between a couple who are seen waking up together."

That was enough for me! She's only nine, for Pete’s sake! So in about 5 minutes, I was able to determine if this movie was appropriate for my daughter all from the parking lot of the grocery store! Isn't technology great??!!

All that was left was to call my daughter back and tell her the "bad" news. She took it very well, and I must admit that I believe it was because M does a good job of backing me up and letting the kids know she respects my decisions.


So all of this got me thinking..."How else do I use technology to be a better parent?"

I use text messaging to keep in touch with my kids when they are with their father or are home alone. I use the internet to research recipes to find healthy, new ways to cook the same old staples I buy every month. I use The Dove Foundation site a lot these days. When money was not as tight, I would preview the movies myself. However, these days, I can't afford to watch the movie to decide if it's ok for them and then take the kids, too!

Facebook helps me keep in touch with other parents to stay on top of what "new" things are going around that our kids might be into and helps keep me in the "know" about what's hip and what's not. Lastly, I'm very strict about my kids’ use of the internet so they are only allowed to get on when we are supervising. That's the best way that technology helps make me a better mom, when we are "surfing" together...laughing, talking, and showing each other what we've found...it's great fun and brings us closer. :)

The First Day of Daycare

I have been dreading this day since I first felt the tiny little being fluttering inside. I have done all my homework, dotted i's and crossed t's, but I still can't stop feeling like I want to grab my little one and run....maybe even for Mexico!

My brain knows my baby will be safe and well cared for, but my heart cannot imagine that she will be happy with anyone but me.   Why is this so hard?  I've done this before.

Two times.

Each time I put off sending my child to daycare by staying home as long as we financially could so we could all benefit from my being a stay at home mom. It was the right decision for us, but it's not for everyone.

Each one of my kids has been in childcare at some point in thier lives and each one of them had a "First Day".   I remember my sons' first day of daycare.  He was almost 2 years old and I enrolled him in a part-time preschool program, just to be able to play with other kids his age.  I actually sat in the parking lot for 3 hours just waiting for his time to be up so I could take him home again!  I wasn't worried about his welfare, I trusted the provider and was very happy with the curriculm.  I just didn't have anything else to do while he was there!!  You can tell he was my first, can't you?? 
    With my oldest daughter it was a little different.  Her first day of "daycare" was actually in our home.  I was running my own daycare and was licensed for 12 children and had 3 assistants that worked for me.  I left her in their care when I was working my other job.  That time was understandably not difficult, either.  So why then, am I having so much trouble putting my youngest in daycare?
   My baby girl is turning 2 in a couple of months and my husband wants me to go back to work.  I am not ready to put her in daycare full time!  Maybe it's because she is so very little for her age.  She seems so helpless to me, but I know she's not!  She bosses her brothers and sister around like nobody's business!! 
Maybe it's because I know she is my last and I don't want to let go...it makes me so proud and sad at the same time to think of how much she has grown and changed in the past 21 months.  My baby isn't a baby anymore!    Maybe it's just because I know how hard it is to find good quality providers and I am not up to the task of searching for a provider for her.  I search for other people all the time, and I know how much work it is...I just prefer not to have to do it for myself!  :)
    When it comes right down to it,  I don't want her to be with anyone else.  Right now, I adore her and she adores me.  I know all too well that in a few years, that won't be the case and we may not be able to stand each other some days!  I am finding out everyday how rough the pre-teen and teen years are and I look at my older children and wonder where those sweet, adoring children went.  Well I still have this one and I want to treasure this time and make the most of every minute.  She very likely will be my last "baby" and I have been blessed enough to be able to be home with her and I'm not rushing her (or me) out of this blessing. 
    Funny to hear the Childcare Queen talking about being a stay at home mom, huh?  That's what our kids will do to us.  We will transform ourselves into entirely different beings just to be closer to them, to make them happy, to hear them giggle.  I am addicted to the sound of her laugh and the sound of her sleeping.  She is soflty snoring next to me right now as I type this.  I wouldn't trade that sound for anything in the world!    Her first day is gonna have to wait awhile...